God tells us in His Word that if anyone lacks wisdom, we can ask Him, and He will not be annoyed with us for asking. In Proverbs 4:7, He tells us that wisdom is the principal thing, and we should make every attempt in life to obtain it. God also encourages us to seek to understand the deep truths of the wisdom we acquire. This allows us to know beyond a shadow of doubt that God wants us to be knowledgeable. He doesn’t want us to be ignorant about the truths that help us understand who we are and why we were put on this planet. The quest to feel at home in this knowledge, to the point that we are confident in the space we occupy, this will take us an entire lifetime to pursue.
Wasting time is a luxury we don’t have. Our sojourn on this planet is very short, and broken relationships are part of its saddest and messiest business. They are unavoidable, but it is a mistake to spend too much time mourning them. Through Moses, God led the Children of Israel out of Egypt, where they were enslaved under Pharaohs’ tyranny. When Moses passed from this life, God’s people were deeply saddened, and they mourned him, but they couldn’t afford to forget that they were on a mission to receive God’s promise. Their destiny was to occupy the land He promised their ancestors. Heavenly Father allowed them a period of mourning but did not want them paralyzed by it. He told their new leader, Joshua, in Joshua 1:2(NLT), “Moses my servant is dead. Therefore, the time has come for you to lead these people, the Israelites, across the Jordan River into the land I am giving them.”
God knew that if His people had become consumed with sorrow, mourning what they had lost, they would miss the opportunity to obtain what He wanted them to gain. This wisdom holds for those of us living today as well; especially when it concerns romantic relationships. Some of us are so overwhelmed with sadness from breakups that we lose our way. The hurt and pain from losing someone we’ve loved is devastating, but when things don’t work out, we must learn the art of release.
You and I are not capable of authoring our own destinies. God has etched them in stone. He’s not moving us about like puppets, but make no mistake, He is always in control. Relationships don’t work out because the person isn’t someone that is meant to journey forward with us. He or she isn’t the right fit, and we should not try to force it. God told His people in Jeremiah 29:11(NLT) “For I know the plans I have for you…They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” God’s plan for our lives is the wind beneath our wings. We cannot substitute a person for His plan.
Our mission after a break-up should be to learn the lesson this person was meant to teach us. Often, we don’t get to a place of learning or being teachable because we’re too consumed with emotions of hurt, anger, sadness, bitterness, and resentment over what has transpired. These feelings and emotions are blockers. They will birth thoughts and memories that preoccupy our minds and hearts; and therefore, they will obscure our vision. Because the momentum of life is designed to keep us on a forward and upward trajectory, we can’t afford to lose pace. As the psalmist said in Psalm 119:18, our eyes must be wide open so we can see the truth of God’s wonderful instruction.
Romans 10:17 tells us that faith comes by hearing and perceiving the Word of God. As we seek the Lord to learn the lessons of our misstep, He will teach us, and we must be patient and eager to learn. These are lessons that will help to increase our faith and prepare us for the blessing that is to come, but we must be diligent to keep our spiritual walk tight, so that nothing squeezes between us and God.
So, the best course of action is to give ourselves a little bit of time to mourn, and afterwards dust off the residuals of any negatives. We need to bring out all the good tools in our toolbox; like hope, faith, love, mindfulness, and courage. These support the plan God has for us. They will anchor us in the knowledge that we don’t have to force anything, because we’re in the process of getting ready for the right fit.■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Don’t Force a Fit” written for Crazynlove.com ©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!