One of the most important things we can do for ourselves and for our relationships is to get fear out of the picture as much as possible. If you are single, and not currently in the relationship that you’ve been praying to have, some remnant of fear is possibly blocking this blessing. This isn’t the easiest thing to hear. None of us want to think we’ve got anything to do with causing such an important blessing to run in the other direction. But wherever the love of God is involved, it is never about blame or condemnation. It’s about truth. It’s about looking at ourselves spiritually, so we can examine the reflection of where we are in the most honest light. In Matthew 16:19(NKJV), Jesus Christ gives us the mirror. This verse says, “And I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.”
Both love and fear leave an impact or impression wherever they are at work. The impact of fear is staggering. 1John 4:18(NIV) tells us, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” Fear is bondage. It binds. It’s punitive, and it will always subtract and never add anything of value. Because it comes from the enemy, fear behaves like a counterfeit. It presents as one thing but is in truth something different. This is one of the reasons we don’t easily detect when we are operating out of fear. It can look like independence, confidence, self-preservation, and even strength. But it is really the barrier, the imprisonment that keeps our blessing at bay.
Perfect love drives out fear. Our propensity is to try and use other things to drive it out—things like sexual intimacy, affection, and pampering. In the proper context, these can be wonderful, but inside of prison walls, they are abusive to our souls. Only God’s love is perfect love. The mission that He has given us is to let HIS love operate in us as we live through the example of Christ. God’s love is the glue that holds our relationships together, and without it they fall apart. Heavenly Father isn’t in the business of helping us hurt ourselves. If we ask for His help, He’s not going to present us with a treasure when we haven’t developed the capacity to steward it. Instead, He begins to teach us through the Holy Spirit, so that we spiritually mature with well-formed love.
God is committed to help us do this. Philippians 1:6(NLT) says, “And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” Heavenly Father is performing surgery on our hearts so that we will love Him, ourselves, and others in a way that continually produces good stuff. The difference between the spiritual surgery that God is doing and a procedure we might have at a hospital is that God is doing things to open our eyes, not keep them closed. He is showing us what happens when the impact or impression of His love is missing. He’s revealing what happens when we start building relationships using our own building material and tools; at best the relationship we build will be shaky and wobbly.
Only God’s Word is a foundation strong enough to build on. In Luke 6:48-49(MSG), Jesus Christ said, “If you work the words into your life, you are like a smart carpenter who dug deep and laid the foundation of his house on bedrock. When the river burst its banks and crashed against the house, nothing could shake it; it was built to last. But if you just use my words in Bible studies and don’t work them into your life, you are like a dumb carpenter who built a house but skipped the foundation. When the swollen river came crashing in, it collapsed like a house of cards. It was a total loss.”
With every decision and choice, we are bringing ourselves closer to what we desire or driving ourselves further from it. By our actions, confessions, attitudes, and conversations, we are binding things on earth and in heaven, or loosing them. Through His Spirit, Heavenly Father will interrupt the program of business as usual and help us to first get our relationship with Him on track; because when our relationship with God is shaky, everything else in our lives will follow suit. As we read and study His Word, God’s Spirit who lives inside of us will guide and reveal the truth that the Lord wants us to see.
This isn’t a process you and I can rush or control. We must surrender ourselves fully to God. And truth be told, most of us struggle with this. We want things on the double, especially if the relationship we’re in is in trouble, and we fear the loss of it. Sacrifice is a huge component of love. Our Lord and Savior demonstrated this to us when he gave his life on calvary. Love is going to require us to lose something we’re holding very tightly. It is very possible this is the thing that screams fear so loudly that we’ve hidden from it; and thereby bound ourselves to be separated from the blessing we desire most. We can and should change this.
1John 4:17(NLT) tells us that “as we live in God, our love grows more perfect.” This for us should be the prize, the goal of which we aspire every waking moment—for our love to grow perfectly in alignment with God’s purpose. There is no need for angst or worry that we will miss out on what He has for it when our aim is to please Him. We may have to face the reality that the thing we’ve thought to be love didn’t have God’s stamp on it. Better to know it now than to continue down a wrong path. He tells us in Proverbs 3:5 that we must trust Him with all our hearts, and don’t let our own arrogant opinions and understanding cloud our thinking and behaving.
So, as we approach this season of love, let’s embrace it with a clearer understanding of what God requires for a life that is overflowing with love. We must trust HIM to take care of our desires. This means we must leave our relationship, or the desire for one, completely in His most capable hands. He tells us to submit to Him in ALL our ways, and when we do this, He promises in Proverbs 3:6 to direct us on the right path. Be confident that this is a path where the right resources and the right relationships will beautifully unfold. ■
THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“The Impact of Love” written for Crazynlove.com ©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!