We live from the inside out, not from the outside in. This is one of those juicy morsels of truth that if you don’t know it, you’ll miss a whole lot. Many of us keep waiting for life and people to respond to us in a certain way. We think this will happen with no effort on our parts. In truth, we teach people how to treat us by how we treat ourselves. We’ve got to love ourselves from a healthy place, and this kind of love can only come from God through the Lord Jesus Christ. 1John 4:8 tells us that God is love, and anyone that doesn’t love doesn’t know Him. Not only does God wants us to know Him, He wants His love to live on the inside of us. He also wants to love others through us. For this to happen, we must know how to appreciate and love all the parts that make us who we are, because we can’t really love others unless we love ourselves.
It’s not uncommon to see people that once wanted to be married so desperately, and then when they are, they regret ever having made the decision to marry. Things don’t turn out as they had hoped, and they become very disappointed in their spouses. Wisdom teaches us that our spouses, probably more than any other person, will mirror back to us how we feel about ourselves. All kinds of stuff will come up in our significant relationships, and some of it has been sitting in the belly of our souls for years. Accepting the reality that the person we love doesn’t feel good about us because we don’t feel good about ourselves is a big piece of meat to chew. Many of us don’t want to be accountable for our baggage, so we’re not ready to digest it.
The masterpiece that is you
Our precious and powerful Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, allows us the grace to digest the big pieces of meaty truths in small chewable bites. The first thing we have to chew on is learning to appreciate who God has made us. Ephesians 2:10(NLT) tells us, “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” Heavenly Father calls us His masterpieces. We’re a product of His excellent handywork. He doesn’t make mistakes, and everything He creates has a purpose within His Divine Will and Plan. Ephesians 1:4 says that even before God made the world, He loved us; and not only this, He CHOSE us in Christ to be His very own. You and I didn’t choose HIM first, He chose US first. So, if the Creator of the entire universe chose us for the good things that He planned even before we were born, He must think we’re pretty special. We should never insult Him by thinking less of ourselves than how He thinks about us.
Deep within
Another little chewable bite is understanding that self-love is much more than having pedicures, manicures, and spa days. It’s not about self-indulgence, although this has its place at times. At the very core of who we are, we must be rooted in the love of God in Christ so that our confidence in His love becomes the glue that holds our lives together. This same love will keep us enriched in joy before, during, and after the storms that occur in every relationship. It’s a love that affirms every moment of every day that we are not our own. We belong to God, and He belongs to us. We are here upon this earth for His purpose alone, and in the Words of our beloved Savior in Mark 12:30, we must love God with ALL our hearts, ALL our souls, ALL our minds, and ALL our strength. Our love for others and ourselves is birth from our love of the Father.
Appreciate YOU
When you love and appreciate yourself in a way that pleases God, everything around you must fall in line with the love you carry within. And it’s no ordinary love. When you have it for yourself, you’re not going to allow someone to treat you any ol’ kinda way. As women, we make this mistake often. We allow ourselves to be lied to, cheated on, belittled, disrespected, devalued, ignored, neglected, and manipulated because we don’t know our worth. When a woman doesn’t know her worth, she doesn’t honor her temple, and the man cannot honor it for her. Know this, if you haven’t fallen completely in love with yourself, you can’t expect a man to either. You should never expect a man to love you more than you love yourself, because he can’t. You must hold a special place in your heart for YOU.
We can’t fake this. When we feel unworthy of God’s best, others can sense it. They will respond to our sense of unworthiness by doing things that keep us comfortable in it. Particularly in relationships, the actions of others towards us will reflect what we are projecting from the deepest level. If we don’t like what we’re getting, we can change this. Through Jesus Christ, Heavenly Father has given us the person of the Holy Spirit, and his occupation is to guide us to ALL truth. The Spirit will teach us so we can love ourselves more fully. So, the very best thing that we can do for ourselves and for the betterment of our relationships is to submit and be humble before God. The changes we need to make to love ourselves real good, we can’t make them on our own. If we ask Him, God will do a work on the inside of us, so that everyone, including ourselves, responds to His love within.■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Can He Love You More Than You Do?” written for Crazynlove.com ©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!