A friend of mine, Juanita, has been with Hector, the father of her children, for almost twelve years. He has always been financially supportive, and he has always had and continues to play a big role in all their lives, but he doesn’t want to get married. He’s affectionate towards the kids and loves them dearly, and although he’s respectful towards Juanita, he has never publicly shown any affection towards her; and he’s not much better when they’re alone. He refuses to hold her hand when they go out, and it always hurts her feelings. She cries about it when she’s alone, but over the years she’s grown to expect it, and doesn’t even mention it anymore.
Don’t shut God out
When it comes to our significant and romantic relationships, many people don’t want
God to get involved. They don’t want to hear the truth of what He has to say. Instead,
they buy into that old saying that the ‘the heart wants what the heart wants.’
People then use this as motivation to fully invest their emotions into a
person they believe makes their heart sing, or who at least makes it carry a
tune. Having wisdom about choosing a significant friend or marital partner is
considered by some to be the not-so-romantic part. This is because wisdom
dictates that we don’t let our hearts govern our decision-making, because making
decisions without God’s direction and guidance is like writing a check our
banks won’t cash. Our hearts will sometimes lead us to make an investment into
a relationship, but because we didn’t seek God, the relationship doesn’t always
yield a satisfactory return.
When we cast our nets and they come back empty, it can be a very hurtful thing, and God doesn’t want us to get hurt. He wants us to be happy and blessed in all our relationships. We should never think or believe that He doesn’t want to be involved with this area of our lives. Remember, relationships are His creation, not ours. One of the reasons He has established them is to teach us how to relate to Him and to also teach us how to demonstrate His brand of love to others.
Relationships are a very important aspect to our spiritual well-being in Christ, because they will help us to spiritually grow and to fulfill our purpose within God’s Will and Plan. They can also hinder us from growing and walking in God’s purpose for our lives. They can distract us by causing us to divert our emotional energy towards pain instead of purpose. So, we can see why this is important to Heavenly Father. We should never shut God out of our relationships, and the very best course of action is to always consult Him BEFORE we take the leap.
What you deserve from your significant relationship
Ecclesiastes 3:11(NLT) tells us, “Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.” God considered every single detail that exists, and He has woven it into His plan for the entire universe. And not only this, He has timed its arrival perfectly. He knew about you long before you were planted in your mother’s womb, and He planned your birth. Nothing about your life is a mistake, and you were born for a purpose; you’re on this planet to fulfill it, and the person that God desires to be in your life will help you to do just that.
Heavenly Father always wants the best for us, and we must believe this wholeheartedly, not just for ourselves, but for our children and everyone that we love and influence. By having God’s best, we bear witness and testimony of His goodness and this inspires others. In Matthew 5:16(NIV) Jesus tells us, “In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” Jesus Christ has made it clear that you don’t hide a light under the bed where no one can see it. By the same token, when you love someone, you wouldn’t hide the reality of your love. You’d want the person you’re involved with to feel the expression of your devotion and adoration.
After He created the first man, Adam, God said in Genesis 2:18(NLT), “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” Have you ever thought about why Heavenly Father placed this detail of human creation in His Word? I believe He wanted us to know the importance of companionship—of having a significant person in our lives that is just right for us. God created us to need love. It nurtures us in ways we can’t begin to quantify. He has also set a precedent regarding the way a man should love a woman. Ephesians 5:25(NLT) tells us, “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.”
It should come as no surprise to us that when you love someone, you make sacrifices to make sure they know and feel the depth and breadth of your love. Women should not only know they deserve this level of love, but they should also understand their responsibility to give it as well. By this, you should know that it is perfectly within the realm of reasonable expectation to want the significant person in your life to hold your hand. It is also reasonable to expect that he will be honored to do so. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“He Doesn’t Want to Hold My Hand” written for Crazynlove.com ©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!