Considering how society has changed and how far it is gotten away from God’s standard is extremely startling at times. The Father didn’t keep it a secret that things would be the way they are. Still, the selfishness of people seems beyond what God would accept, yet, He still loves us unyieldingly. This subject came up with a dear friend that truly wants to be married, and she has set a goal timeline for this blessing to occur. Not having met anyone that strikes a chord with her, she mentioned that the men she’s dated the past few years seemed incredibly self-involved. She wonders if it’s possible anymore to find someone that isn’t.
She’s not alone. Many women are feeling this way, and it can be discouraging, but it is important to remember that traveling down the dark long, wide tunnel of doubt and disappointment can be avoided. Some of us look at God’s Word and think that it doesn’t speak to the intricacies and heartache in dating and relationships, but it speaks truth to this area very clearly. Our Heavenly Father is sovereign, holy, beautiful, and magnificent. He is all-powerful, all-knowing, and everywhere present. He said of Himself in Malachi 3:6(NLT), “I am the LORD, and I do not change.” Believing this truth is extremely important to any degree of well-being we achieve in life and in our relationships.
God doesn’t change, and He will never change. Hebrews 13:8(NLT) tells us, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” Understand that God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit are perfect beyond perfection. Our Creator never has to do a take-back or a do-over. God’s Word has this same unchangeable, brilliant, and infallible quality. God has elevated His Word above His name. We can have complete and overwhelming confidence that His Word is true, and that it will never, ever fail us. He tells us in 2Peter 1:3 that His Word contains everything we need to know about life and Godliness. So, when it comes to dating and marriage, we have a roadmap that is the definitive authority. Obeying God’s Word guarantees a predictable and successful outcome.
A man can have many hobbies and recreational activities. He can hang out with his homies, play basketball on the weekends, have dinner with the fam on Sundays, and be on a serious grind with the 9to5 each week. He can go to the gym, and refine his body to the max, and be an all-around good dude, but Ephesians 5:28 tells us that the most valuable thing a man can do to and for himself is love his wife. This, God tells us, is how the man shows love for himself.
That’s a razor-sharp truth, and it gives every woman a standard by which she can measure a man’s capacity. God also tells us that in Ephesians 5:31 that when a man and woman come together sexually, they become one. He no longer sees them as two individuals, but they are one unit with different functions. Many men have made themselves one with many women. Their antidote for the soul-fragmentation caused by this is to try to control things, and selfishness in many cases ends up being their tool of choice.
This is not said to place anyone in condemnation, because Romans 8:1(NKJV) tells us, “There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.” It is said to provide truth and therefore bring light into a dark place. God has given us the strategy for conquering a lie and it is to expose it by the truth. When we know better, we can do better. Women, too, struggle with emotional instability from soul-fragmentation, and all of us are selfish to some extent. However, when a man has indulged the darkness of selfishness to such a degree that he will deny oneness with one woman, and refuse to earnestly pursue this, he is denying his identity. And what’s worse, he is denying the call, standard, and favor of God.
It is important for the woman to know what she is working with, because it is pointless to pursue and indulge that which is untenable and against one’s greater good. Your hope, woman of God, is in Christ. For it is in him that we live, move, and have our being. Because of Christ, we know that God always and forever has the very best in store for us, because He gave His only begotten Son to die on the cross and save us. God has a plan for your life and your destiny is within His plan. You can have absolute certainty that just as you live and breathe, God has made sure there’s someone to walk with you through life. This is someone for whom you will be the greatest blessing, and he will be the greatest blessing to you.
Do not waste precious time despairing over the ones that have not yet through Christ found their way out of selfishness. Instead, pursue God! Delight yourself in the Lord. He has great plans for your life, and as you patiently and diligently walk with Him, this plan will beautifully unfold. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
“Is He Too Selfish to Partner”, written for Crazynlove.com ©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!