When the man you love is unfaithful or ends the relationship for whatever reason, the heartbreak can be devastating. It’s even more painful if you’re in a situation where you have to see the person on a regular. The pain cuts deep and the wound is raw. We can’t just sit still with this much upheaval in our souls, so the nurturer and fixer in us takes over. The problem is that men who’ve abandoned the relationship or dishonored it won’t do a whole lot of talking about it. This is one of the most common complaints that women have about men; some of them find it difficult to express their feelings and will often shut down or lie their way out of these situations.
Women tend to be a lot more open about their emotions, and when something important to us goes terribly wrong, we feel an explanation will give us some kind of closure. We think it will put the disturbed, shaken, and out-of-place thing to rest. We tell ourselves that if we can just make sense of what he did, if we can comprehend on some level what led him to cut us off, then we can fix it or make it better.
It’s hard for us to handle the reality that we let someone into our heart, and he deliberately chose not to protect it. But was it really his responsibility to do so? God tells us in Proverbs 4:23 that we are to guard our hearts above ALL else. Heavenly Father didn’t mince words. He said what He meant and meant what He said. It is one of the hardest lessons any woman can learn, but make no mistake, life will force us to learn it.
Every person needs love. God wired us this way. 1John 4:8 tells us that God is love. Love is what He does, and Love is who He is. Genesis 1:26 tells us that we are made in His image. We’re His children, so love is what we do as well, but we do it according to His standard, not our own. And His standard is that we stand guard and proceed with caution. Yes, He wants us to be happily partnered with someone who loves and honors us but being wise about our emotional investment is a must. It comes with understanding that our hearts belong to God. They are vital to our relationship with Him, and they are absolutely worth guarding.
Instead of placing our energy on fixing something that isn’t humanly possible to fix, we need to focus on our own hearts and the healing that only God can provide to them. A broken relationship exposes a wound in our souls, and it can bring such an unrestful state of being that we can become physically ill. It is only then that most of us realize how much we’ve opened ourselves up to this one person. They have moved on, and the extent to which we grieve the lost demonstrates the investment we made. The bottom line is that any loss requires some degree of grief, but when it comes to someone who has deliberately disconnected from the essence of your light, you’ve got to let go and let God.
You really are too magnificently and wondrously made to want
someone who doesn’t want you and doesn’t honor the love in your heart. Jesus
Christ told us in Mark 12:30(NLT), “And
you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your
mind, and all your strength.” Again, our hearts belong to God, and any
closure that we may need must come from Him. The wounds in our souls must be
covered by our faith that God is our Provider and Protector. He will never
forsake or leave us, and we are never without His love. When our hearts are fortified
by a strong faith in His goodness, the right person will come along, and the
love you share will be rooted in the love you both have for God.■
Scripture
quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation,
copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.,
Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Why Do You Need Closure When He’s Already Moved On?” written for Crazynlove.com ©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!