15 See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, 16 redeeming the time, because the days are evil.
17 Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. Ephesians 5:15-17(NKJV)
Most of us understand how damaging it is to allow toxic people into our lives. They are typically negative individuals that are prone to some type of dysfunctional behavior. Of course, this person has qualities that might be very positive as well, and there’s something about them that makes us comfortable, or else, we wouldn’t entertain a relationship with them. It is also true that extricating a toxic person from our lives can prove to be quite the challenge, and it’s not always because they don’t want to leave, but because we don’t want to let them go. The latter is very much the case when the toxic person is actually someone we’re involved with romantically.
None of us are perfect, and we all have weaknesses and shortcomings. We’re works in progress, but toxic behavior is more than this. It’s trying to manipulate and control someone’s life for the sole purpose of a selfish agenda. A person with this behavior might try to use people to meet their needs and can be extremely critical of anyone who doesn’t play along with their games. They constantly see themselves as a victim, frequently abdicate responsibility and accountability, gets jealous very quickly, and has very little respect for boundaries. The danger in being in a relationship with a person like this is that we are wasting precious time on someone that God hasn’t ordained as our destiny partner.
It takes time for us to grow physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually; and we can’t afford to waste time. Ephesians 5:14-17 tells us to wake up out of our slumber, because Christ will give us light. It says to walk very carefully, and not foolishly, by redeeming our time wisely, because the days are evil. Redeeming time is not left to our own personal choice. No matter who you are or how much money you earn, you will only have a certain amount of time on this planet. Every second that passes is one that you are redeeming or buying from the allotment of your human lifespan. God has not left us ignorant about this but warns us to use our time on earth very wisely, because it is not an unlimited supply.
It cannot be lost on us that engaging practices that aid spiritual growth is the absolute wisest way to redeem our time. We become particularly aware of this when we face adversity without the spiritual strength to quickly overcome it. The reality that we may be allowing ourselves to be manipulated and controlled is a very harsh one to face. As believers we know we have an enemy, the devil, and it’s important we understand how the enemy works through the toxic person to keep us bound. Jesus Christ tells us in Romans 10:10 that the devil is a thief whose mission is to kill, steal, and destroy. Our vulnerabilities are his playground, and he aims for the jugular.
The problem is not as much with the person we’ve chosen as it is with our lack of spiritual strength. Strengthening our core is a desperate need. God informed us of creation in the first Book of the Old Testament, Genesis, in the very first chapter. This allows us to realize the importance of knowing who we are, whose we are, why we were created, and what we’re here to do. Our Heavenly Father began creating within the earth by first dressing it with every necessity humans would need to grow and thrive. He demonstrated the critical aspect of nourishing our spirits, souls, and bodies by creating the provision first and the recipient second. Equally important is the type of nourishment we consume. Jesus Christ cosigned this in Matthew 4:4(NKJV) when he was tempted by the devil and replied, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’”
All of us have wounds that, when exposed, will present a challenge to our faith that is often shocking. We will beg the toxic partner for another chance, call and text them incessantly, and even threaten the person we think has caused love to be stolen from us. We compromise Godliness, and abdicate our responsibility to love ourselves through Christ. We do this because we haven’t redeemed the time necessary to strengthen our core with the love of God. Instead, many of us obsessed over an individual that isn’t even a destiny partner. This is an illegal move on our part, and it allows the enemy to steal time from us.
To remedy this, we must do exactly as God has instructed and redeem our time wisely. Understand that the victory we have in Christ is legally etched in stone, but we must walk in it. He gave his life on the cross and was lifted up high. Colossians 2:14 tells us that he wiped out everything that was against us and took it out of the way by nailing it to the cross. 1John 5:4 says now every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith. We walk in the legal victory of Christ NOT by lowering ourselves to a behavior of defeat, but by clinging to our faith in God and His Word. When we do this, He will heal the wounds that kept us stuck, help us grow in spiritual strength, and show us how to redeem the ground we lost on destiny’s path.■
Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Redeeming Time Lost on a Toxic Relationship” written for Crazynlove.com ©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!